This is how I really feel. I hate when #newbeetle owners come up to me and say they drive a #vwbug. #bitchplease You have cruise control and an AC. #gtfo If you haven’t : felt as if you were going to die, haven’t ran away from a fireball, haven’t experienced seeing the road from your seat due to rust on your floor pan, haven’t had to stick your head out Ace Ventura style because your wipers went out/or don’t have wipers, etc… then you my friend are just driving a new #beetle. New as in updated. As in you wouldn’t last driving my car for thirty minutes because it smells like gas and oil. Without my #vintagevw, there wouldn’t be no new “your beetle”. #strictlyaircooled #aircooled #shotsfired #vw #type1 #volkswagen #veedub (à Spin Diss Records)
Experimental Underground Hip Hop for the masses. Bay Area by the way of Boyle Heights. Fresh since 1979.
#amberalert #longbeach #1998 #tan #saturn #socal #losangeles #sandiego #inlandempire (à Murrieta Heights)
Allowing yourself to find your center at least once a day is necessary. Today I woke up late. I missed my class. I even missed a huge car show in Temecula. It was sunny. The perfect type of weather for just existing. I was just present today. Even though deep inside my emotions thoughts and worries were going crazy in an emotional posh pit, I just did not have enough energy to release the type of anger out into the universe. I was boiling inside. I had to separate my two selfs and let the one brewing madness stay at home. With my left hip being the cause of my discontent, I took the Madonna approach : take a couple of Advil and keep the party going. My anxiety levels had been shooting through the roof the last few weeks. Luckily, I have a great group of friends I can open my heart to and express myself freely. Still, I found myself kicking my car’s tire like Jimmy Conway in GoodFellas the other day because I felt as if my own little bugger had betrayed me by bringing some unwanted drama. Actually the car is running in tip top shape.
"And that’s all I’ll say about that."
Saturday: Grocery shopping and tacos. I really wasn’t feeling the dick stroking fest in Temecula. Today’s theme was nautical, but apparently the other women frown upon another woman squeezing avocados while wearing Bruno Magli gold heeled shoes. I’m not sure when it became my responsibility for other people’s opinions of me. I just don’t find joy in looking like I wore my workout gear for the sixth day in a row or smelling like diaper rash ointment. Even if it’s just running to the store for simple pantry staples, I have to look presentable. Blame my mother for instilling that sort of self-respect that if done incorrectly can turn you into a neurotic adult. Yay me.
My professor Ashok Malik gave me the same piece of advice. As a matter of fact, his anecdotes are kept in my Rolodex of Wisdom. Each day something new is added and I’m reminded when I look at his picture to be grateful and stay humble. He’d probably give me a good talking to if he knew I was still drinking water with ice and the time I’ve wasted analyzing instead of doing. People like that are truly one in a million. I’ve been blessed with plenty of gems. “It is as if I’m being watched and being taken of by guardian angels”, says the atheist. Perhaps the universe knows my intentions are good, even if my actions say I want to destroy it all.
So yeah tacos. That was breakfast, snack, and lunch. By 9:30 PM I was drained and didn’t feel like a heavy dinner was necessary. I went through my Rolodex of Wisdom, turned on the television and the movie “Friday” was on. I caught the last half hour. 1995, such a long time ago. It was also the year I left home and decided I was ready to take on the world. What I wasn’t prepared for was the cruelty that ensued. The sleepless nights, the long days of balancing school and work, while wondering if I would eat a decent meal. Yes, even one meal was hard to come by. And there you thought I was pretty for being so skinny. Working at restaurants literally saved my life. Where else can you earn extra cash through tips and get a meal, if not two? My first gig in the biz was unsavory, but I can make delicious smoothies because of it and at the same time it helped me quickly learn how I did not want to be treated or treat others. Still, the end of the shift meal was very much appreciated. Even when the owners, head chefs, and other upper management treated their underlings like shit, it was like smiling and muttering the words “Fuck You” in between chews. Now get back to work you worthless piece of shit.
I ate so much Round Table Pizza between ‘95-‘97, I couldn’t look at it anymore. Sandwiches became the culinary deficiency I loathed and Top Ramen just brought back horrible memories of my abusive alcoholic father that the smell alone would cause me to hyperventilate. I had a love-hate relationship with food, which in turn made me have poor body image and self-esteem. It wasn’t until I worked at an actual restaurant that I started to appreciate culinary arts. The phrase culinary arts seemed like a bunch of bullshit to me at the time. Like who gives a rat’s ass where the rice is on the plate, it’ll end up together in the end anyway! It’s hard to believe that I thought that way at some point. Nowadays I lose my mind whenever my plating is ugly, if they use the wrong type of seasoning on protein, and I time the intervals in which the waitstaff refill my water. Oh look Deebo got knocked the fuck out!
I find that eating a simple meal centers me. It brings a certain type of calmness around me that is much different than the kind of spiritual connection I have with music, but is just as soothing. Sometimes just eating cereal with sliced bananas or a bowl of beans with queso fresco, cilantro, and quesadillas is just as, if not more satisfying than filet mignon. Tonight it is a simple antipasti plate consisting of : kalamata olives, sun dried tomatoes, fresh basil, Soppressata and asiago. Twenty years ago, all that would have sounded like jibberish, but tonight it is my last supper before I go and a play dead for a few hours. Looking at my plate I realized I have missed two essential components: bread and water.
As I’m cutting French bread with a bread knife, my mouth starts to water at the thought of letting my bread go swimming in the olive oil and balsamic vinegar reservoir. More amazing is that I have a bread knife. Four good slices should be plenty. I want to wash it down with a citron pressé which consists of the juice of one good sized lemon in a tall glass of water. When I want to feel extra fancy I substitute Pellegrino bubbly instead. As I place the bread and bubbly on the table, I can’t help having a moment of clarity. I hear the cottontails in the backyard, the leaves dancing to the songs of the Santa Ana winds, and I’m thankful for just existing.
#ootd #nautical #spring in #winter #latepost #fashion #brunomagli heels #michaelkors denim #charmingcharlie #koi pendant #vintage #thriftshop #gold #white real #seashell earrings and a #Target top. #mixandmatch (à Spin Diss Records)
#Velocirapstar #southpark #thestickoftruth #chinpokomon #wordtoyomutha #raptor #rapper #hiphop #happysaturday (à Spin Diss Records)
A fighter eh? #SouthPark #TheStickOfTruth #ps3 #videogames #fridaynight (à Spin Diss Records)
Ok let me explain. #broke #lol #tbt #throwback I had these shoes as a kid. I loved them, even if it meant getting teased at school. That is, I’ve gone against the grain. They’re selling for three bills now. #MJ #moonwalker #MichaelJackson #LAGear #90skid #80sbaby #vintage #sneakers #kicks (à Spin Diss Records)
Hey I can explain. #Alcohol. #tbt #throwback Many #tequila shots later we decided to dance on top of this pool table because playing pool wasn’t doing anything for us. #datass #latinas #antioch #bayarea (à Spin Diss Records)
Oh you didn’t actually think I was going to post the entire picture did you? #lol #tbt #throwback My hubby took this picture way back in #2007. This was our first mini getaway to #SanDiego. Some of our adventures included: driving all the way to Santee for the Nintendo Wii, drag racing to get to Dave and Busters, Little Italy swinging and Old Town chillin’. #beachbum #socal (à Spin Diss Records)
Hrmm…something’s missing. #StarWars #lego #letsbuild #brickcity #everythingisawesome (à Spin Diss Records)